Facing the holidays can be daunting to anyone, especially if you’re exhausted and feeling burn-out. The looming specter of faking holiday cheer is cringeworthy at best, particularly while trying to keep the peace.

I’m here to ring the bell of HOPE! You don’t have to continue to suffer through the insufferable today. If you’re not putting yourself first then you probably have nothing to give to others.

Here are 7 self-care tips for enjoying the holidays while nourishing your serenity.

1. Your Support Posse

Do you have a clawing creature in your heart that causes you to feel isolated when surrounded by others? It’s time to soothe that inner roar instead of telling it to shut up.

Are you going to a party, family gathering or a situation where you know you’re going to be uncomfortable? Make sure to bring a trusted support person. If it’s not ok for you to bring someone with you then you have the right to choose to not attend! You do not have to attend anything that you know will cause you discomfort.

Loneliness and the holidays go hand-in-hand sometimes. In preparation for that possibility, write a list, as a reminder of who’s in your Support Posse. I suggest reaching out to them now to create a mutual support system. Trust me, you aren’t the only one!

2. Exit Plan

How many times have you felt trapped in a place because you didn’t take your own transportation or devise an exit strategy before arriving? It’s the worst! Lets not re-create that scenario.

You can bestow yourself with the peace of mind by knowing ahead of time how you can leave when you need to. Knowing this will lessen hyper-sensitivity to triggers or acting out in ways you’d prefer not to.

If you decide against taking your own transportation then I encourage you to have ride-share apps ready and always have cash on hand if an actual taxi service is needed. You have the right to leave a place where you feel unsafe or disrespected.

3. Healthy Routine

A holiday from work or school doesn’t mean a holiday from who you are. Neglecting your normal routines, the very foundation of what makes you whole, can disrupt your equilibrium.

Continue to maintain your daily routine even during the holidays. Give yourself and others the opportunity to be known and to know you. Your routine is intrinsic to who you are. Take a few minutes to write down what you do on a daily basis that gives you a sense of balance.

A few examples of common daily routines may include number of meals, types of foods, needed medicine, bathing, exercise, prayer or meditation, socializing with your support posse, amount of sleep, hobbies, etc.

4. You are a Gift

The holidays have become a commodity. How many stories are there of people suffering emotionally and economically trying to make sure they have gifts for everyone they “should” give to?

Your presence is a gift! Your willingness to share your time with others and to allow others to get to know you is worth more than becoming indebted or depleting emotional reserves.

If you feel compelled to give gifts then consider gifts that you feel good about giving, you could make yourself or coupons you create redeemable for time spent together doing fun activities.

5. Create your own Holiday

Do you feel holidays are imposed on you rather than something you choose? Are there certain holiday rituals you have always forced yourself to do because “that’s the way it is”?

You have permission to use your imagination to design holiday rituals that embody what the holidays really mean to you! This will give you a feeling of belonging and relating to the holidays on a more profound level. Often it feels like we’re tolerating life rather than creating it. I encourage you to take time to create a ritual this holiday season that has special meaning for you. You’ll be surprised at the impact this can have on your holiday cheer!

6. Be of Service

I have a ritual of volunteering during the holidays such as going to soup kitchens, help with crisis hotlines or packaging items for the needy. There are only a few of the many ways we can be of service to others. I’m not suggesting you to stress over how to give, especially if you already exhaust yourself by giving too much to others and not enough to yourself.

I am suggesting you try to keep your eyes open for someone who needs help: call someone to check in to remind them they’re not alone, help someone who is struggling in some way. Randomly leave sticky notes in public places, on cars, on doors with kind words such as “I’m grateful you exist!”, “You matter!”, etc.

It feels good to get outside of ourselves and our problems, even if for a little while, to be given a new perspective.

7. Dress Comfortably

Sounds silly? It’s one of the most practical advice I can give you! During the holidays my cousins and I celebrate Pajamarama. It’s a self-created ritual created by us when we were little kids where we wear pajamas, watch movies and spend time together. We still do this as adults with families of our own.

Dress yourself in ways that nourish comfort, joy and self-care.

Comfort + Fun = A Great Time

I’m blessed to support your journey towards wholeness this holiday season!